Friday, February 06, 2004

The devil in me has finally made a full appearance in my life... it has finally reaching 5th gear and it is not going to be lowered down in the near future.. any sights, sounds, words, smells.. whatever.. just any tiny weeny thing can trigger off the devil in me causing me to be extremely irritated, frustrated, tempermental, disgusted with the happenings and ppl around me.. I really dun wish to be like that but the angel in me seems to be hibernating and does not seems to be willing and wanting to wake up for quite some time to come.. I guess the Angel must have had enough of all the shitz that's happening to me.. it does not want to listen to any body's happiness, joy, misery, pain, problems, whatever.. anymore.. It just want to be a devil for as long as it can... ppls' pain and problems only add on to the already overwhelming problems that I am facing and their joy and happiness only further serve as a reminder to me how pathetic and miserable I am.. and how un-loved and unhappy I am ... I feel sad that I'm saying all this out.. but really.. all I want now is peace and tranquility for myself.. as I have tons of problems of my own to solve... To those who r reading this entry, I would like to make it clear that all these are not directed at any one in particular... it's just the way I feel now after all these years that I spent on Earth and I really need to seek out solutions to understand and accept all these shitz and also to re-tune the peace within me..

posted by Yan at 1:32 AM |

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Hi there.. finally!!!!!! finished rushing through the FMKT project.. the feeling of joy cannot be sumed up in a few words.. finally, after nights of tolling, loss of sleep and body aches... it's done!!!... erm.. but not quite.. still have to do a whole round of editing tomorrow.. but that should not be too much of a problem... hopefully... cos it's supposed to be changing of words and phrases here and there.. hope I'm not too rusty in my English yet.. sigh.. my English has been going downhill ever since I left secondary school.. not that it was good in the 1st place..ok.. gotta go and get some sleep.. tata :)

posted by Yan at 1:27 AM |

Monday, February 02, 2004

Hi there.. those who have been reading my blog must be thinking how come I update it so often these few days.. lolz...... well.... just had a desire to blog these few days.. anyway.. I guess I shouldn't blog too often.. all or else it will become boring for ppl to read too :) .. kinda bored doing my FMKT project.. now brain abit not working.. thinking on what I should write for comparisons of markets.. sigh.. not quite sure what should or what should not be written.. hopefully I can get some inspiration??? sigh.. sometimes.. I think I have too much expectations towards some ppl/things/matters etc... thinking bout it.. I expect alot from some ppl.. but is it really alrite that I expect so much from them??? Do I put in the same amount of effort I expect from them??? I've been disappointed alot of times b4.. hence I tell myself not to expect so much from those ppl...... but sometimes.. it is still sad to see that u r not important to the person as u think u r..... it seems that something that had seemingly been built on a strong foundation over all these years just seems to be an illusion that u have created to delude urself.. it's so weak that it's like it had neber been real b4...everything seems alrite on the surface.. but underneath it all.. it's really not alrite at all..haha.. getting abit crappy alreadi.. better get back to work b4 my brain really stop functioning.. tata :)

posted by Yan at 7:27 PM |

Hi there.. installed the Sims that Crys lent me.. as I was playing kinda happily.. my character just died on me.. gosh.. I dun think I dare to name any of my characters after anyone.. seems to be a bad omen to me.. earlier on.. went to Crys house to ''bai nian'' .. played mahjong for a long time.. not veri good at it yet.. everytime ''ting pai'' alreadi.. then some idiot will win instead.. lolz.. but did manage to win a few games.. maybe can play again another time..btw, I finally managed to finish reading ''The Guardian'' by Nicholas Sparks on thurs.. thought that the book was alrite.... borrowed 4 of his books from Eula May.. maybe can bring them to read to kill off boredom ( hopefully there will not be )... going to try to get to sleep soon..... later when I wake up. still have to do FMKT project.. gosh.. hopefully I can do my parts well... anyway, guess I will try to read the John Grisham book I just borrowed from the library.. haha.. like to read books b4 I go to sleep in hope that it will bore me to sleep :) .. okie.. that's all for now.. tata :)

posted by Yan at 3:20 AM |

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Hi there... what a bright and cheery day this is.. haha... and Eula May is still wasting the day away in bed.. shame on her...... woke up at bout 10 plus this morning.. to my utter surprise.. lin has woke up ( has the sun staring rising from the west ? ) .. poor thing.. dropped her hp into a tub of water ( stupid fool whahahaha ) ... now awaiting for crys arrival.. haha.. she will be the 1st honoured one to receive a red packet from my mum.. haha... waiting for the Sims disc.. long time since i last controlled a human's life.. hahaha..ok.. update on the rest of the details later.. bye bye :)

posted by Yan at 11:31 AM |

Hi there.. it's been some time since I last blogged.. been kinda busy for school and everything else... so fast.. one month over.. but projects r going to be due soon.. sigh.. anyway.. been doing some baking lately.. baked some biscuits and pineapple tarts.. letting the bitches try it later.. wonder how they will rate it.. hopefully it's passable... something nice happened to me recently.. wonder if I'm in a dream or what.. hopefully it can be fulfilled till the end..anyway.. had my lesson with Mr N today.. getting more used to him.. maybe cos he tok more.. haha.. but I must try to multi-task.. everytime tok to him.. then neber look at road properly.. haha... luckily he's there.. we crapped alot.. bout one particular topic.. haha..on fri... me and lin went to National Lbrary to buy some bricks.... whahaha.. joking la.. we went there to find info for FMKT.. ended up being there for almost 4 hours.. gosh... then saw one of my classmate over there.. btw, the fish and chip at the cafe there is real nice and cheap.. definitely worth a try..and then last sat.. when we went to Hendrix again.. this time only me and lin.. courtesy of Celeste ''Eula May'' Low.. we were picked up by some 30 something Ah Peks.. damn funny.. the Ah Pek that came over had a lame pick up line.. but nonetheless creative.. hahaha.. btw, now me and my group at poly getting worst.. haha.. we have attracted the attention of another 2 groups of guys..die die liao.. now we r so infamous .. haha.. going to Crys house later.. haha.. guess shall stop here.. seeya .. tata :)

posted by Yan at 1:16 AM |

Monday, January 19, 2004

Hi there.. just reached home not long ago.. it's was raining real heavily when I walked home.. but that's not the point.. there was this bloody ******* white car.. not sure what make or brand it is.. but I think it's a civic.. with a yellow car plate (wished I had seen the number clearly) saw me walking and sped towards me.. and I got a shower from it (right into my face!!).. thanks ar... now I onli hope that the car will skid somewhere along its journey.. and the best is.. it knocks into a tree or what.. of cos no casualties involved.. but it will be good that the car is in such a bad shape that it should be scraped immediately.. and the driver will regret that he drove so fast and splashed water onto innocent predestrians (eg. me) ... poor me.. sigh... guess I will write until here for now ...

posted by Yan at 5:51 PM |

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Hi there.. barely 24 hours... I was here.. now I'm here again..but this time.. my mood is not that good. haha.. during to several reasons.. which I shan't elaborate on... hopefully by tues.. can decide and finalise on plans for the long holidays of CNY [ yet another round of pretentious behaviour :( ] .. but I think I can escape this for this year...haha... always dread it when CNY is round the corner.. have to plaster on a fake smile and answer senseless questions.. sigh... but this year is gonna be different... going to meet up with the arses and do some fun things.. hopefully.. okie.. shall keep it short and sweet.. blog another day..

posted by Yan at 9:14 PM |

1. You are attracted to those who are elegant and well-mannered.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you
feel irresistable is patience, never give up on you.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.

8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do
anything for it, you won't fall for it easily.

posted by Yan at 1:54 AM |

1. You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and
free.

2. You did not select anything for this one.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is stylish.

4. You don't like it when your partner is emotional and/or too
moody; and you don't know how to please him/her.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your
partner is one which make you feel warmth and in-love always.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything
wrong after marriage.

7. You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your
freedom.

8. At this moment, you don't have the thirst for love, you can't do
anything for it, you won't fall for it easily.

posted by Yan at 1:49 AM |

Hi there!!! It's been such a long time since I last blogged... not having blogstipation.. just now too many things to attend to.. too little time :) ... finally managed to squeeze some time into writing today's blog.. well.. guess what I'm doing now?? Eating bread with Nutella!! Yum yum :) ... okie..just came back barely 2 hours ago from Hendrix Bar, went with the bitches.. haha.. no doubt this is the 2nd time I've been to a pub.. but this is the 1st time I drank alcohol... well.. in the past.. just took sips of it onli... but today.. I actually drink 2 cups.. which I tot was a miracle.. lolz.. surprised that I didn't feel drunk or got drunk.. tot thay my tolerance for liquor will be quite weak... haha.. but now still feeling alrite..just that a bit of headache..but sadly... the mix of crowd was not what I hoped to see and the music was really loud.. but fortunately, towards the later part.. they played some great music...overall, nice place to go to.. as long as the crowd's rite.. lolz.. a schoolmate of mine saw me and the bitches...he was in Light House.. so ''heng''.. I think he wanted to join us.. but eventually he didn't.. maybe next time can get together in one whole group and go together??? lolz.. next week, me and the bitches (minus Pussy) r planning to go clubbing again.. just that have not decided the venue yet.. hopefully, can go and the crowd will have more Chinktatoes haha... erm.. b4 going to the pub.. me, Lin and Celeste went to KTV.. initially, we booked a room from 2pm-5pm and from 5pm-8pm.. but then.. when we got to the ktv venue at 2 plus.. there were alot of ppl standing out and also, 2 of their employees were standing outside too.. apparently.. the person who has the keys came really late.. still no signs of that idiot at 3 plus.. what the **** ... so no choice.. book the usual one we went to... quite reluctantly though.. and we went off the Chinatown Point for lunch.. spent bout an hour odd at this restaurant with no so happy service crew.. but overall, the food was alrite and quite reasonably priced.. then after that.. we walked back to the KTV we wanted to go to.. they were, miracelously.. opened.. and we sang till 8pm.. yup.. how nice if every week was like this.. last time.. all I ever wanted to do on weekends is to laze and rot at home.. thinking back.. feel like a bloodly old foggie.. but now... I'm gonna enjoy every precious weekends I have.. cos have to study liek a dog during weekdays.. I deserve to rest myself and pamper myself for the weekends.. lolz.. haha.. plan to do some baking tomorrow.. hope it turn out real fine.. so that I can offer them to somebody (wink^wink ;D).. okie.. going to go back to typing some datas and talking to Puss.. tata :)

posted by Yan at 1:13 AM |

Friday, January 09, 2004

Hi there.. it's a brand new year!!!!!!!! Am I excited????? NO!!! Am I hopeful??? NO!!! Do I care if it's a new year??? NO!!! Am I a pessimist??? YES!!! Who cares bout new year??? It's just to further remind u that another sad and pathetic year had past and there's more disappointments to expect... and of cos.. in a blink of an eye.. u r going to be an old hag!!! Many of u might disagree with what I've said.. but at least.. this is what I feel about new years at this very moment...there's gonna be anything interesting that's going to happen to me... life will just be as monotonous as ever.. or even more monotonous... I'm getting older and weaker and everything is starting to go downhill... sigh... nothing much seems to interest me these days... especially after my big dreams suffered a premature death... which really dealt me a great blow.. and I know becos of this... I will never be the same as before...sigh.... carry on some other time..

posted by Yan at 10:24 PM |

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	High
Borderline:	Moderate
Histrionic:	High
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

posted by Yan at 10:20 PM |